Change/Around The House

So, this is the first post on a new blog. My old blog was just a mess and I hardly used it. I'm not sure if it's the gloomy weather lately (I love me some dark, rainy days!) or just finally having time to do my own thing that's gotten me inspired or what but I am and I decided it was time for a change.



There's been a bunch of negativity in our house lately. Most of it is unintentional, some of it is from missing home. That negativity has come out in the form of Josh and I both getting annoyed and very testy with each other and unfortunately short-fused when it comes to Mila which leads to me not looking forward to the stress that comes with 4 o'clock. By the time Josh gets home in the afternoon, we're both physically and emotionally spent and coincidentally (or not), this is the same exact time Mila decides to bring out the crazy! Biting while nursing, slapping, scratching, yelling, getting into everything that has a "no!" attached to it, throwing herself back and hitting her head - she puts us through the wringer. I try to hold on to my cool but I have really been failing lately and by the time she's sleeping in her crib, I'm looking down at my beautiful, growing daughter and feeling guilty. I've been thinking to myself that there's got to be a better way to deal with her new antics and to reconnect with my a husband, a better way to stay calm and enjoy these crazy months because we will never have them back. The other night I was catching up on a blog I hadn't been able to even look at for more than two minutes lately and I stumbled across this post. It's Hey, It's Natalie Jean's old post about coming to the end of nursing her son. It really opened my eyes and affirmed my want to have a better attitude towards Mila and Josh, no matter how tired or cranky or annoyed or how sore I am. These beautifully frustrating days with her won't last forever and when I look back on these days, I don't want the guilt of being hot headed to cloud the memory of her babyhood and the early years of our marriage.

Alright it's about to get a little graphic and honest here so if you don't like reading about nursing, I'd stop here!

 Honestly I love nursing her - she usually nurses herself to sleep and most of the time I fall asleep right along side her and we snuggle up on the couch for an hour or so. But other times I am disconnected, annoyed that I have to stop my day and sit on the couch with her, especially with her teething now, it's basically walking into hell (or whatever the equivalent of having your nipples repeatedly bitten by a frustrated teething baby would be). It's terrible and I know it. So I've been trying to change. I'm trying to go back to how it was during her very first days here - putting my iPod down, rubbing her back, kissing her head and just going with the flow (pun unintended) when she unlatches in the middle of a letdown. Well the weirdest thing has happened - she's a heck of a lot happier and less likely (though still does) to bite or freak out during the day. I also have to get back to fully loving and appreciating the time with my husband. Now I just need to remember to breathe and smile while not being a complete pushover and hopefully it'll start rubbing off on the entire family!

Here's a look into our little world lately...